Padri’s Martini Bar
**The staff anxiously prepare for the arrival of the Royal Sultan, no expense spared, red carpet rolls out** I will be attending a charity event this evening at Padri’s Martini Bar in Agoura, CA. You can find me sitting in a private bungalow, in my usual attire, where I will be signing autographs and posing for the paparazzi.
Johnny Walker Blue Label
**The Sultan ponders a possible trip to Argentina** Soaking in my hot tub, underneath a blanket of stars, on the observation deck of my yacht. Oh yeah, I’m also sipping a glass a Johnny Walker: Blue Label. **Closes eyes and sighs**
Sprawling Backyard Oasis
**Alfred, laboriously shakes up a cocktail up for the Sultan** Lounging in my backyard oasis, consuming drinks with little umbrellas on top while gorgeous women feed me grapes and fan me with fresh cut palm leaves. Goal for today: Make sure my tan is evenly distributed. **Smug laugh**
The Sultan of Sushi
“The Sultan of Sushi” a.k.a “world renowned food critic,” did some research & development today at Hakane Sushi, in Ojai. As always, the findings are strictly confidential. However, if your desire to know is simply overwhelming, and you must know at all cost, Sultan Inc. can quench your thirst for an exorbitant fee.
I’ve rented out Bombay’s Bar & Grill this evening for a private party. Alfred, my driver, is pulling up my platinum plated, rare gem encrusted Chariot, so ornate, it would make Ben Hur jealous, for a night on the town. All drinks on me! Please ladies…no autographs tonight, this is my leisure time.
With Envious Eyes
There is nothing more appealing to a woman’s eye than myself, parading in the town square on my majestic, gold-plated chariot.